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Hope this will cleanup with world little bit.

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Perhaps 'they' have only recently happened upon the capability to travel faster than light-speed, and 'we' were the nearest/most evolved/most interesting planet for 'they' to happen upon.
Officer, the guy must have been drunk. He was all over the place. I had to swerve 3 times before I hit him.

let the boys play ref. Let the boys play

It's highly probable that aliens have broadcasted radio waves to us. It's also highly probable that in the fifteen-some billion years that the universe has existed those waves didn't reach earth in the last century. And if they did, it's still probable that SETI was facing the wrong direction.

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you're a retard

Same for me too. I actually have some friends who are very eager to get into my pants. But... they are gay. And I am not.

They actually made ten pages worth of this *****?

Agreed!

If you are wondering: Yes, Marijuana is a weed and will grow anywhere as long as it has at least 4 hours of sunshine

A Nolan catwoman would be better though.