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FAIL! You could clearly understand all of Wierd Al's lyrics!

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PAYCHEQUE even! We speak English over here, none of your funny colonial lingo
actually, its whore-heh

What are you talking about? There HAVE been references to aliens for "millenia." Have you ever heard of GODS, ANGELS, and DEMONS??? Your life... please end it.

So don't read them. Just like to complain for the sake of complaining? Life is that boring huh?

None of these are really that bad. Apart from the minivan, of course. consolidating school loans

Alright listen up people, im not usually one to preach about holes, but i dugg myself a pretty big hole last week at the 39th Annual Elvis Presley Cheesecake and Pancake eating contest. I ate two whole(hole) pieces of cheesecake and 3 small pancakes. They werent as good as the late/stillalive elvis presley would have wanted them to be but considering that space chimps bombed it wasnt that bad. I am a huge fan of chapstick and i feel that the United Nations needs to do a better job at sending it to 3rd world countries. 3rd world countries such as France could really use all the help they can get in these harsh times. I've got to admit that playing piano isn't the cool instrument to be playing now but if you would like to teach me to play i would share my stash of Kraft Cheese singles with you. Thanks Guys!

Even though I've never heard of a vampire dying from a disease, they can probably still carry diseases. Always practice safe bloodletting, folks.

Looks like a Federal Reserve Note circa 2020, with the Fed printing dollars like Zimbabwe. Will Bush, or FDR be the dead president on the US Billion note?

Customer service rep with a thick Indian accent claiming his name is "Bob?"

Yeah, so was Zell Miller.

This just seems like a bad idea all around. If you're worried about getting her pregnant ***** be responsible and wrap it up. It -is- possible to give up your parental rights if you don't want the kid. Its just mind boggling that these kids would want to limit their future relationships like this. I mean, I don't want to get pregnant either but you don't see me running off to get my tubes tied! I've consistently been on birth control for the past 7 years, but if there's ever a question my boyfriend and I use a condom. Jesus guys suck it up a little bit, I can tell you condoms aren't much fun from the other side either but you do what you have to. And really, the other issue here is STD's. Fine and dandy you aren't going to get her pregnant but when you're pissing fire from your crusty dick do not go crying to everyone then.